Tips for Texas Parents with Shared Custody During the Holidays

Co-parenting during the holidays can be more complicated, as your regular custody arrangements may change. Whether you’re a recently divorced co-parent or veteran co-parent, consider the following tips that can help keep the focus on your child and the joy of the holiday season:

Review Your Parenting Plan

Following your parenting plan isn't just a legal obligation; it's a commitment to your children's well-being and stability during the holidays. Your kids deserve to know what to expect, and sticking to the agreed-upon schedule helps them feel secure during what can be an emotionally charged time.

Keep a copy of the plan readily available, and review it well before the holiday season begins to avoid any confusion or last-minute conflicts. This preparation allows everyone to focus on creating joyful memories rather than managing logistics.

Be Flexible

While consistency is important, life doesn't always follow our carefully laid plans. A flexible mindset can help transform potentially stressful situations into opportunities for demonstrating good co-parenting. If the Thanksgiving football game runs late or traffic is unexpectedly heavy, take a deep breath and communicate clearly with your co-parent.

However, maintain appropriate boundaries. If your co-parent consistently disregards scheduled times or agreements, keep a detailed record of these incidents. Good faith flexibility strengthens co-parenting relationships, but patterns of disregard may need to be addressed formally (i.e., with an enforcement action).

Communicate Openly & Regularly

Effective communication is the cornerstone of successful co-parenting during the holidays. Share holiday plans, school events, and family gatherings well in advance. When discussing arrangements, keep conversations focused on the children and maintain a business-like tone. Consider using a co-parenting app or shared calendar to keep track of schedules and commitments.

Prioritize the Children

The holidays are magical, especially for children who may still believe in Santa or teens who are trying to soak up their last few years of holidays at home. Keep that magic alive by putting their emotional well-being first.

In prioritizing their well-being and holiday experience, consider these tips:

• Watch for signs of stress or anxiety about holiday arrangements and address their concerns promptly.
• Avoid putting them in the middle of any co-parenting conflicts, and never use them as messengers.
• Encourage them to enjoy their time with both parents and extended families.
• Walk away from disagreements, remembering that your children's happiness and security matter more than any adult disagreements.

Coordinate Gifts

Take time to discuss gift-giving with your co-parent to ensure a balanced and thoughtful approach. Share gift lists to avoid duplicates and agree on general spending parameters. Consider joining resources for larger items your child desires. Even if you do not coordinate, consider setting boundaries surrounding gift prices and appropriate gifts.

You might also consider helping your child shop for gifts for your co-parent and anyone else they may be spending the holidays with. Teaching your children to think of others by helping them select gifts for their other parent and step-family members fosters empathy and strengthens family bonds.

Honor Certain Traditions

Maintaining familiar traditions provides children with a sense of continuity and comfort during times of change. Whether it's visiting a particular Christmas tree farm, making grandma's special cookie recipe, or watching a beloved holiday movie, these traditions anchor children to their family history. Discuss with your co-parent which traditions are most important to your children and find ways to preserve them, even if they need to be modified slightly to accommodate new circumstances.

Create New Traditions

If your kids need help embracing the transition or old traditions aren’t feasible anymore, work together to establish new holiday traditions. Embracing change can open doors to wonderful new experiences.

This might mean starting a holiday movie marathon on Christmas Eve, creating a special breakfast ritual, or beginning a new charitable giving tradition. Let your children take the lead in suggesting new activities—their input helps them feel more invested in these new traditions and more accepting of change.

Take Time for Yourself

When your children are with their other parent, resist the urge to spend the holidays alone. Use this time to recharge and celebrate in ways meaningful to you. Connect with friends and family, volunteer in your community, or pursue holiday activities you enjoy. Taking care of your emotional well-being during these times isn't selfish. When you nurture yourself, you're better equipped to be fully present and joyful when you're with your children.

Here to Help Establish & Modify Custody Schedules

The Clark Law Firm can help you and your family work to have a favorable parenting plan that meets your needs throughout the year and during the holiday season. Reach out to us to discuss your specific needs by calling (817) 435-4970.